“And then a large man holding up a pink umbrella stood peering amicably at me”

I wonder why Rowling felt it would be funny for Hagrid, the bearded half-giant to hold a pink umbrella! Even Aerosmith has obsessed about the pink deco umbrella. I believe any macho person could carry a Pink with much swagger. Wait, am I being blasphemous here? Come, sue me.

Fine, don’t hate, I yield. I agree, it is confusing to affirm the gender identity of the person in such situations, what with so many varieties we see these days.

But seriously, how many times I’d wished that I’d have someone (even if he looked crazy like Hagrid)  take me away to a place like Hogwarts and introduce me to an alternate world for cool people. Well don’t blame me for having rotted at a ‘something-suburban-popular’ school. It was exceptionally known for making students mug the course content and get amazing marks to get into an engineering college to do what? -slog for another four years! Wow, what a wonderful take on the existential school of thought.

Yes, for a suburban Chennai inhabitant I was an outcast for loving music and Psychology. Our regular courses that we could branch out to, during our eleventh and twelfth grades, were Science and Accounts. Arts were forbidden. In fact, our school did not even bother to have Arts as an option. For such schools, I declare, the management should be subjected to 48 hours of Disney’s cartoons, children’s novels and Justin Beiber.

Better yet, I chose Psychology for my bachelor’s degree to provide a ‘face-palm’ to my honorable Principal ‘He-who-must-not-be-named’ of ‘you-know-which’ school, to let him know that I have fared well after all. Choosing Psychology was a cool way of manifesting my opposition against all those who considered me an academically challenged person. It would be like throwing an ‘Experiallmuscurse at their constant efforts to turn me into a Zombie.

Yawn! Alright, I know. Whatever I have written until now is a very clichéd rant you’d get to read in every paper or magazine by many students or professionals living at the city. Yet, there hasn’t been a mass revolution or social reformation that has happened to save our brains from rotting. So save our souls!!

Fast-forward to now. I am still sitting at my office ranting about how boring it is to work at jobs that are not creative or soulful and…. shoot! I have forgotten that word. What was it? Dinosaur? No. Fossil? No. The word that is extinct to the level beyond human brain’s comprehension? Yes, I got it! Fun. Let me jazz this word up for you. ‘FUN!!!’

So if you could do the honors, be my Hagrid! Please wear that oversized coat, have a funny beard, hold that neon pink umbrella and come whisk me away. Because, I’d love a job like the color pink that is ‘kink’, the ‘new kind of lingo’, the ‘color of passion’ and should be the ‘bing on my cherry’. After all, I am not sure if everybody does really love Raymond but everybody loves Hagrid as he is ‘FUN’, adventurous and deals with exotic species like myself. Tee hee! I’ve managed to up my swag. 😀 If you think that was bad grammar, ‘you-know-whom’ to blame and that’s how we do wordplay. The end. 😀

 

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