This is a fun guide to gain knowledge about the different types book enthusiasts  existing in  this planet.

Jolly Junkies

They buy books simply because they love the rustle of the papers, the smell of the books, color of the covers, the texture of the leaves.  They are simply addicted to the books.

Broke Cronies
These are the ones who are so broke that they still visit the library to rent books; buy second-hand books; borrow a lot of books; spend hours and hours in the corner of the aisles at bookshops reading books.

Die-heard Dodos
They strongly hate digitization of books and they like the old fashioned way of reading. So they collect books, book marks, book stands,bookends, book covers and other associated stationery. They buy the limited edition books, books with leather bound covers and have  at least five to six hardbound covers and paperback cover versions of the same book.

Prodigal Paupers

The ones who buy books every time they shop; every time they are bored or depressed;  buy more books than they could afford; are practically broke because of buying books; but they still buy books on loan and beg friends, well-wishers and strangers to gift them books.

Encore Amors

These types read a book over and over and over again. They claim that each time they read the book, they discover more facts and perspectives. They practically memorize the dialogues and chapters and page numbers. But they are not intense as the Quiz Whizz, they go as far as crying or laughing every time they read the lines.

Quiz Whizzes

The ones who memorize every word in the book, that if you give them a pop quiz they not only ace it, but they create complicated associations and trivia, that is mind boggling. They are the ones who create memes and quizzes online to rate, ‘How good a fan you are?’, and ‘Are you worthy enough to be a fan?’. So, careful when you deal with these folks.

Jotters

These types are very particular about knowing the meaning of alien words; underline important quotes and dialogues; add references and footnotes; add comments about their feelings and document memories page by page. After they are done reading, the book looks like a revised edition.

Doodlers

These are the ones that doodle on every page of the book. If you see the first and last pages, those would be filled with their signatures and modern art. They get a kick out of transforming their books into a tattoo studio.

Genre Giants

They prefer only a specific genre and stick to it. They are either fantasy lovers, romance lovers or science fiction addicts. They never stray. It almost feels like they are political affiliation.

Free Rangers

Quite opposite to the Genre Giants, these type of species read any book they get their hands on. Looking at their genre preferences would make you gag. They would talk about the classiest books with great insight and at the same time, discuss the trashiest books with equal zeal.

One-Hit Wonders

These would have read only one book in their entire lives and they would call themselves bookworms. These are usually the ones who consider Chetan Bhagat, God.

Cradle Cravers

They read books only when they want to fall asleep. The books are their lullabies.  They in fact, use heavy books as pillows or have books propped up on their faces to shield their eyes from the light.

Aesthetic Aspirers

These are the ones who would love to read books at a scenic location on a holiday, sipping coffee, feeling the breeze and listening to the sound of the waterfalls as they read.They plan their escapades just to read books. They have these reading corners where the place is a hide-away set with plush cushions on a chaise by the window or in the garden where these readers like to have their ‘reading time’.

Jugglers

These types would always have a book on them and they can be found reading books in the trains or buses; while walking; while at work; while eating and almost at all times when they see a chance of multitasking. They manage to juggle a full time job, home making and reading.

Comic Buffs

People who only read comics, attend all the comic conventions. DC, Marvel, Manga, Manhwa, Archies, Calvin &Hobbes , Tinkle – you name it, they have read it. They fight about their heroes and are mostly the cause for unleashing wars.

Mag Moose

The ones who read only magazines because the glossy covers, posters, illustrations, fonts, advertisements and colors appeal to them so much that they would resent reading black and white books.

Digital Evangelists
The digital converts who buy electronic books or try to download free copies of electronic books. They have digital readers like Kobo, Kindle, Nook or many reading apps on their phones.

Work Wonks

These people take their professional lives so seriously that they read books that are informative and relate to their profession. They are very rigid about reading anything else that would not help them in their business.

Maverick Hippies

These type of people do not particularly like to read the popular or hyped books. They would like to read books that are outlandish and unknown by the usual reading crowd. You can never identify with these types because they have a vast knowledge when it comes to books and they keep scouting for books that talk about very far-fetched and eccentric topics.

Supersonic Stars

The ones who read at the speed of lightening that no matter how many books you give them, it is never enough.

Rapid Rovers

The ones who read many books at the same time. Reading just one book is boring for them. They are also very inquisitive about what is written in the other books that they have to read many books at the same time and figure out the plots.

Uno Clingers

Unlike the Rovers, these types can read only one book at a time. Unless and until they are done with the book, they can not read anything else. They have poor memories to remember plot lines so they just stick to one book at a time.

Slobbers

The ones who take ages to finish a book. They read books at such a snail’s pace that the duration of them completing a book is more than the half life of Dinosaur fossils.

Togglers

These types pick up a heavy-read and the process is so strenuous that they simultaneously read a light-read book to keep it going.  There are some others who are unable to read their text books during their exams and to relieve themselves of stress they simultaneously read a novel.

Halfway Halters

These types start reading and never finish a book. They keep reading new books but they do not finish them. They get bored by the time they get to the end and start reading a new book.

Climax Killers

These people are so curious to know the ending that they start the book by reading the last page first and if they are convinced with the ending, then they start reading from the first chapter.

Skippers

They are quick readers and they want to show the world that they have the swiftest reading ability so they skim through the pages like no man’s business. Some times they also skip a few chapters that are descriptive and do not add to the plot.

Floaters

These type of people read books that have less number of pages; contain shallow stories and information; poor vocabulary and are typically trash-reads.

Marathoners

These types are so obsessed about reading that once they pick a book up, they do not put it down until they are done.  They even pull all-nighters sans food and chores to complete the book. These are the ones who read for ten hours at a stretch and you might mistake them to be gargoyles.

Ramshackle Rodents

The books are torn, tattered and the spine is missing. The cover pages look like they have been chewed by insects and pests. You just know the book was greatly abused.

Mummyficators
The ones who preserve their books like mummies, that the books look more flawless than Beyonce and fresher than Mac products on your face. They look brand new forever . After all this time? Always!

Revamp Vamps

These kinds take particular pride in binding the books, mending the torn books and making them look brand new.

Crib Crammers

The whole house is furnished with books. You can see those by the bed side table; on the bed; in the kitchen; inside the oven; in the bathroom; on the shoe rack; in the closet; on the dining table; on top of the fridge; inside the wardrobe; next to the Bonsai garden; on the couch and even on  the toilet flush tank. Yes, they would always like to read books at any time of the day.

Snob Nobs

Typically, these are the people who would like to have a home library, display their books ostentatiously to everyone.

Faux Frauds

These are the types who are like the Snob Nobs, even if they have not read a single book in their entire lives.

Rob Zombies

They simply rob books from others. You would never know if they have read the books you lent them, because once you lend your books to them, they are practically dead to you. They become invisible. These Kleptomaniacs can not stop themselves from robbing books from others.

Pesky Pesterers

They don’t keep the habit of book reading to themselves.  They always gift only books to others; constantly discuss books and force others to read books that they like. These are the free book promoters who need to be aware of, especially when you are an author and want free publicity.

Niggards

These types are so possessive about their books, that they never lend books to anyone. They have numeric codes for each of their books just to make sure that they have a count. They always guard their books like hellhounds.

Heinous Hypocrites

The ones who read a book, secretly love it but openly criticize it and have so much hate to throw about the book.  Usually happens with the Twilight series.

Closet Clowns

These talk about two famous books that everybody would consider to be socially appropriate and save their reputation. But at home and in secret locations, they would have shoved a lot of teen love and young adult fiction like mills and boon series. They always are in a state of paranoia for the fear of getting ousted.

Critique Critters

The ones who read books and write reviews in every site possible about it. This includes  not just book reviewing sites like Goodreads or book-club sites like Our Shared Shelf but in websites like Flipkart, Amazon, Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter and even in Google Plus if someone would read it.

Buzz Butchers

The ones who come up with so many probabilities and plot twists that they give you maximum spoilers for the upcoming volumes, for the books.

Cult Curators

These types being so immersed in the books that their whole lives revolve around the book.Be it Halloween costumes; setting passwords and IDs;describing their ideal crush;their favorite holiday destination; signatures – everything about them is influenced by the characters of these books.They try to buy all the collectibles; try to get their book autographed; go for every meet and greet; join book clubs; buy merchandise that is related to the book; attend conventions; join book clubs; create fan pages and fan clubs. They live by the book and for the book. Their purpose in this world is THE book.

Hidebound Hounds

These are the ones who read the books before they see the movies, television series or other adaptations of the books. Their full time job is to compare the books with their adaptations and subject the adaptations to such unfathomable scrutiny. They consider any type of adaptation as blasphemous.

 Spoof Goofs

These are the ones who just can not get over the fact that the story is over so they write their own sequels to the books. Some times, they add prequels if a character has not been described well in the books. They write complementary reads. There are some others, who want to be writers and to get easy popularity, they create spoofs of famous and infamous books like ‘Harry Pothead: The Stoned Sorcerer” ‘Fifty Lampshades of Grey’, , ‘Shadeylight: Vella the Vegan Vampire’, “Bored of the Rings’, ‘Fellows of the Bling’. I guess you get the hang of it.

Despicable Deviants

These are the ones who only read articles or newspapers. Or worse, listen to audio books and call themselves readers. There are also some others who read the plots of the books on Wikipedia and other websites; or the blurb of the books and then claim to have read the entire book.

 More to follow in part 2.

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