Why me?

Have you posed this question ever?

You would have had bad days; cried yourself to sleep; witnessed failures; watched a loved one die. Everyone comes across situations in life that differ in intensity. It could simply be a mood swing or a life altering trauma. Usually, when you hear the word ‘health’, physical health is what comes to mind. We hardly pay attention to mental well-being.

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I am sure you have experienced negative emotions at some point in your life.But how do you combat them? When do you know that you can not manage anymore?

What if I gave you a few tips to make you mentally strong? Just like you exercise in the gym, you can do these mental exercises as well. That way, you can handle situations better or seek help when you know that the situation is going out of control.

I would like to give you a guide on how to conquer emotions and stop them from controlling you. I will write a series of articles about these on my blog. I am going to give you tips, exercises and explain concepts that are going to help you know yourself better. If you maintain a diary or save these over e-mails, it would help you measure the results easily after a period of time.

I conducted a survey last week to understand people’s attitude towards self-help and I interviewed many of them personally as well.

Most of them claimed that they had had many issues in the past but they have been generally strong to get back up on their own feet. If they felt like they had a psychological problem they had looked up online about it or had sought advice from siblings, cousins and friends.

Even if you are able to handle yourself, are you capable of handling your loved ones? Do they listen to you?

According to the survey, many people wanted to read self- help articles that changed impacted their lifestyle and also resolved relationship issues. People want to know about themselves, their qualities and interests.They stated that they would be able to live their lives better if they knew how to approach people and situations in an emotionally refined manner.

They also opined that they will be interested if the articles were presented in a simple way for them to execute daily. They want the articles to be funny with helpful tips that can benefit a lot of people.

If you have not already check out my articles Psychology of Postivity and E.T, please do and let me know if those were helpful.

To start with, I would like you to do a small exercise for me and mail it to wordpanache@gmail.com. Make sure you save these emails or documents for future as well.

I hate  _______________

I fear  ____________

I am depressed when ___________

I get angry when ______________

I feel guilty about ___________

I am ashamed of ______________

I am jealous of people who _________

Apart from this you can look up the image and form sentences about each of the negative emotions you go through.

Next, you can ask two of your closest people to do the same exercise for you. I will tell you why:

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Recently, I went to a family doctor to review my daily medication for a health condition. I noticed that my BP was high and it was a result of gradually built up stress.  When she asked me to describe myself I was at a loss. What about me can I possibly describe? I had my relative answer that for me.

My relative mentioned that I am a sucker for punctuality, I like things well organised and I hate messy rooms. I am highly irritable and small issues annoy me.  Then, the person gave some instances of situations when my temper had shot up.

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After a 30-minute-long discussion, the doctor commented that I am a perfectionist and have set high expectations for myself and when I fail those, I punish myself severely, not by physically harming myself but by reprimanding myself or feeling excessively guilty. The other day, a mentor of mine commented that I get stressed out very easily even for small issues.

So you can see that feedback tells a lot about you than what your brain realises on its own. Once you do the exercise and get some answers, you can see how to work with these negative emotions.

Please leave a comment on what you’d like me to discuss with you in the next article. Please share this article with people who really need a positive change. I hope to hear back from you soon.

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